Sam Hapke

yup it was yesterday, it's what brought on my spurt of emo-ness. cause i'm all crazy like that, i dunno how to put this the right way, but it made me feel, like no one really knows what i'm like (my parents mostly) i wish i could say it better but that's the best i can manage for now

but today was DI therefore all else is reduced to nothing and i feel grand (as DI always does for me), anyway, i hate THAs.

i have no words to sing my song
i find myself not even strong
so many things i hold inside
there is no room left for my pride
behind my eyes where none can see
hide the things i long to be
i wear this mask that you may find
the things i hide, please don't be blind
no one in my life will try
i need a place where i can cry

today during seventh period study hall i went to the courtyard as the weather was wonderful. no one else was there, so i piled up a bunch of leaves and layed down for the rest of the period. it was comfortable. that is all.

i feel...........
.
.................................................
.................................................
.................................................
.........
..
.........................
.. like doing something .... unique.

Di has been going for about a month now, happy. my AP physics is also going good i just finished my 4th set of THAs, at 95.7%. the second set is the only one so far that's given me a headache. aside from that western civ is tring to pull my grade down to a D, it hasn't quite gotten there yet. and that's about it, i havn't put much thought to where i'm going (see last post) but i feel happy enough

there's pretty much nothing to my life right now but confusion, and i'm not sure what to do about it. should i shrug it off, or cry. i have ten thousand thoughts swimming through my head and few of them are complete i might be goimng crazy or i might just be seeing truth for the first time. i seem to be contradicting myself with every action and yet at the same time it all seems to reassert what's already there. and to make it all worse i can never seem to make it through a day without hurting someone i love. nor do i have any idea where i'm going in life. i can see only to the end of high school, and then..... i don't know.
i need DI to start again, then i'll feel useful again.

so very suddenly the realization came to me that perhaps i might find more posts if i acctually logged on. oh people why must you protect all your posts? (don't answer that, it IS rhetorical. feel free to correct my spelling though

sigh no one ever replies, i suppose i should go around and remind everyone that i exist.(aka post in their LJ's)

Thursday night, i worked till close (got out at 11:30 ish) i came home and prepared to do homework when i woke. and so i awoke and began doing what i could, but i knew i wouldnt be able to cover my german book until 5th period (my first study hall), but i had a problem, i wouldn't have anything to put it together with, and so i promptly located some duck tape and attached it to my backpack (simmilar to what Betsy did). at lunch time we went across the street to sword fight. somewhere in the middle i took time and taped together the paper i brought with my duck tape. soon after we decided to head in and i proceeded to the german room where i waited akwardly outside of for the bell. during class we were going through and talking about the (not states, but simmilar idea, oh why don't i have a name for them) and i randomly flipped through the pages, until something caught my eye. i couldn't beleive it! written on the inside of the front cover was: "Betsy Dilla". therefore i have come to the conclusion that i am the 'mini-betsy'.

alright so you remember that condiment cart at work (refridgeration unit in the kitchen, important!) yeah so it went out again. it was terrible. (i'll bet you don't want to hear the rest, well thats good i have other things too), so i was working with Justin. he.. well i dunno he seems to want to fight me (the closest thing i can figure is he's flirting with me, and i'm being serious, when i'm giving him a look trying to convey "that wasn't funny" or other such looks, he'll like twitch his lips as if wanting to kiss or something. it's a little weird) anyway so he stuck a fry in my ear

yes, in my ear.

at this point i gave him one of said looks.

other than that, i guess there's not much going on, there might soon be 12 planets (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2006_redefinition_of_planet) i find it really cool.

alright. well adventureland on wednesday was awesome. in the end we left at about 11:30, and crammed jacob, coyle, james, and jimmy into my car for the drive down. we got there had many good tme (i enjoyed the dragon the most the other coasters were a bit slower and a lot more rickity) after a couple hours we went to the gift shop and bought some $2 samiri swords that started falling aprart right outside the door of the shop. well we had a few fights with those and decided it was time to come home for ampgard (pvc covered with funnoodles usd as swords a lot more durable than the plastic ones from adventureland) we got home at about 5:30 ish and went to the park and fought for about an hour. not much happened after that, people began trickling away.

i was woken up at about 11:30 thursday (couple hours earlier than i would have liked) and was asked to help mom and erin (we hired her to help with the brats over summer) bring the little ones to the science center. i agreed to help and got to take hannah (my adopted sister) while mom got ariel and crishon (the older girl and older boy) and erin got carlos and chadimon. everything was going pretty good, hannah liked the bubbles best. then we went to get a snack. ariel decided she didn't want popcorn, and complained, loudly. erin took her away and sat her on a chair away from the rest of us, she didn't get any snack at all, and she decided it was time to run. well she didn't get far but she was in deep shit now, the problem was she didn't care, she was kicking and biting all the way to the car. once there we had to try and get her in, well that was fun, i got to sit in the back and pull her in while mom and erin were shoving. well it took a good 10 minets to get her in and buckled (still kicking, biting, pinching, and scratching for life, i've got a couple marks to prove it) and so for the next 15 minets i was restraining her (she started spitting when i had her legs trapped between mine so she couldn't kick, her arms held wide so she couldn't scratch or pinch, erin holding her head so she couldn't bite. my thumb was sore by the time i got home.

and today (friday) i went to get my pictures. but thats not the sad part. i woke up and mentioned that i had school pictures today and mom went crazy, she told me that i needed to get my hair cut, and she wouldn't even listen when i tried to tell her that i liked it long (not that it was long but i wanted it to get that way) and before i could form a complete sentence in objection she already had the check written out and was back to other things (filling out the picture order form). well then i went off cause i had no time to argue i needed to get to work. once there it seemed that the kitchen was feeling my soul being troubled and the condemint cart was out (it holds everything that we need to keep cold, lettuce mayo, all the stuff that we put on the buns), but not only that the bun machine was out too (it toasts the buns) so we had in the kitchen 1 mechanic fixing the cart, 4 tubs of ice holding alll the stuff that would normally be in the cart, 3 extra people helping, and to top it all off the buns all needed to be toasted on the grill wich cut down on space there as well. it was problematic. well after work i went and got my hair cut (it made me very sad). i came home and got ready for my picture and i looked in thw=e mirror and felt that i looked like a cardboard cut out, and my soul was in pain. it wasn't me, it was what someone else thought i was, and i hated it.

if you read this all you are a better human than me, i hope i didn't bore anyone.

so after a couple months i think it's finally time to update
(ok so it's cause i was reading around and realized that so many people will never see me again, and i made me very sad) i suppose i'll just generalize everything that happened this summer and start my updating from here

this summer in general is: lazy
i rarely get up before noon, mostly at 2 or later
i am working as well and once in a while i get to head to a friends house
and that was summer

as for what's happening now, i'm planning a trip to adventureland (mostly because i got a free ticket from work for covering a shift for someone who got sick) so far it seems like charlie, jacob, jimmy, james, and coyle will be going with me, but i'm still working out the details

i'm sure other people will have enough to say on their own, so, say away.

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
- Buck Henry
good quote, isn't relevant.


"santa" was good to us this year
i got:

portable DVD player
27" flatscreen TV
cranium (it's a game it's alright, could be a bit harder)
2 DVDs (neither one is very good, not worth naming)
origami money book
CD case
$50 gas gift certificate

three good quotes today

Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows.
- David T. Wolf
Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of.
- Douglas Adams
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
- Anthony Burgess

they made me laugh

and, Happy

went to chronicls of narnia with katie
was fun, afterwards we came home, played with a balloon. much fun

i am way to paranoid about time.


HAPPY

i was in the dark room with katie again 6th period, twas fun.

Happy

so i went to the nutcracker with katie (and her family)
twas good, i got to go back stage and talk to people (cause katie's brothers were in it)
saw amy backstage saw charlie dancing (he did good, he was the only guy dancing in that part)



Happy

happy

we apologize for the inconvinence